Releasing the tears in the way of reaching your goal

In my therapy practice my clients talk about and work therapeutically on memories and events which bring out all manner of feelings. Everything from anger to fear to confusion comes up on the radar. But one emotion so often gives rise to a lot of worry: sadness and the resultant tears. And so many people worry that it’s wrong to cry.

Perhaps especially in the British Isles we’re taught to hide our tears – they’re seen as sign of weakness. However, allowing ourselves to grieve in a safe and confidential place can be an antidote to the distress that we’ve been bottling up.

At my therapy room, some people worry that they’re the first to have used up so many tissues in releasing and resolving a painful memory. Others wonder if the tears will ever stop – yes they most definitely do. And this isn’t something that affects women alone – men shed tears at issues that have distressed them after years of being told that it's not okay for them to do so.

Yet some resist crying for fear of how silly they will look or what others will think of them. The problem is that bottling them up means they may spill out later when the internal pressure has built up too much and at a time that won't be "convenient".

In my experience, giving ourselves space to grieve over a missed loved one, or a situation from the past filled with disappointment is a way of coming to terms with it and growing in strength.

Yes, it is possible to feel stronger by releasing the past. And with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) the tears don’t have to fall for hours on end. I’ve yet to come across a technique that melts away the distress more rapidly whilst allowing us full expression of our humanity.

Moreover, having the opportunity to release the sadness in a safe and confidential therapy space can help you clear all the debris from the past and find doorways for positive thought to move forward through. The support that an objective and compassionate therapist can bring in facilitating that clearing will help you grow more quickly towards the joy and love that life has to offer.

If there’s a part of you that is fearful of shedding tears to put the past to bed whilst in a safe and private space, please tap on this month’s EFT Setups.

The Healthy in Mind viewpoint: Supressing the tears damages us more in the long term than releasing the sadness in a safe and confidential space. Freeing yourself of that sadness will help you achieve your goal more quickly than you thought.

Article Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2008